Posted by: Josephine | September 22, 2010

Monthly Recommended – August

Pain on Pain by Coquettishness

This is the latest story from one of my favorite writers. It’s an AU version of New Moon. Alice sees Bella meeting Laurent, him sorta attacking her, but the it all goes blank (the wolves descends). The entire Cullen family flips out, and they all come back. And by all, I mean everyone.

“My dreams were strangely vivid that night.

His familiar scent was all around me, flirting on the edge of my senses like an old friend, lost but never forgotten. It felt as though he was in the room with me. Impossible, but there it was all the same.

On the dim borders of my dreamscape, a shadow moved.

Like a fool, I imagined it was him – leaning over my sleeping form and brushing my hair aside so he could see my face. I stirred in my sleep, discomfited by the memory of him, but I was too tired to open my eyes. Besides, if I did that, the dream would slip away before it had barely begun.

I pretended his hand was on my brow, the coolness of his thumb smoothing away the tension, his other hand lost somewhere in my hair.

I sighed happily. Unhappily.

What a cruel imagination I had.

It wasn’t really him, of course. Even caught somewhere in the middle of waking and sleeping, I knew I was only experiencing some sort of self-indulgent dream. He wasn’t coming back, and I had accepted that fact. I wasn’t okay with it, but I had accepted it. Still, I wasn’t prepared for how much something as simple as a dream hurt me. The idea of him actually in my bedroom – the place where I had always been the most vulnerable with him – it was painful.

I loved and missed him too much, and the wounds were still too fresh. I needed to push the memory of him aside before it ripped the gaping hole he’d left in my chest even wider.

The lump in my throat was difficult to swallow, but I managed. “Please,” I whispered. I don’t know if I said it out loud, or if I just imagined myself speaking. Not that it mattered one way or another. I was addressing a figment of my imagination.

The hand stilled on my forehead, uncertain.

“Please,” I whispered to the dream. “Just stop. Hurts.”

The hand lingered a moment longer – then disappeared.”

Told from Bella’s POV, this is, I believe, a more realistic version of how their reunion would be. You can really feel her frustration, anger and simple joy of having him back. It’s a wonderful story, and I recommend everyone to read it, especially in this soon-to-be New Moon crazed times. New Moon ftw!


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