Posted by: Josephine | October 19, 2008

Till Death Do Us Part

Till Death Do Us Part by Daddy’s Little Cannibal
This is the second really awesome fic I found last week. And, as I said, it’s AWESOME! This is an All Human, but don’t let that stop you from reading it. It will blow your head off! Or you’ll laugh at least.
Bella and Edward, meet at a bar, both quite drunk. (Yeah, read that before, but just wait, there’s a twist.) Bella wants to sleep with him, but Edward tells her that he doesn’t want to have sex before marriage. So, on a whim, Bella asks him to marry her. They get married, and that’s basically where the story begins.   ”I pulled myself away from pillow so I was sitting on the bed again. I smiled back at him and took a small bite of my banana. “So what are we going to do about this whole marriage thing?” I asked. “I want to get this out of the way early, end it before it gets too complicated. I don’t know if we signed a prenuptial or not but I promise I don’t want any of your stuff. And if I end up with any of it, I promise to give it back to you as soon as possible.”
I was trying to make this easy for him. I didn’t want to be a bigger nuisance than I already was. I went over what I had said in my head and tried to figure out if I left anything out. I considered offering to pay for the room but that was out of the question, I didn’t have the money to pay for it. Not even for half of it. Hell, I probably didn’t even have enough to pay for the water that I was drinking.
“I’m afraid I can’t do that.” Aden sighed.
I frowned. “What do you mean you can’t – Oh my God!” I screamed. We both flinched. “This was all a trick, wasn’t it? You were just after me so you can drug me up and so that when you ask me to marry you I will be too drugged up to say no and so when we were supposed to have sex it wouldn’t be rape because we’re married.”
Anthony raised an eyebrow. “You asked me to marry you.” He pointed out.
“Oh.” I frowned. “Then ignore what I had just said. And tell me why we can’t get a divorce.”
“The reason we can’t get a divorce is because I don’t believe in divorce.” He flinched away as he waited for my reaction.
I opened my mouth and then closed it. I wasn’t expecting this. I didn’t know how I was supposed to react. So I went into shock. I’ve never seen a movie that could explain what type of reaction I was supposed to have to this. We couldn’t get a divorce because he didn’t believe in divorce. That didn’t make sense! Sex before marriage I could understand but divorce? Is it even possible not to believe in divorce?

“You couldn’t have told me this before we got married?” I groaned. I was too sick to get angry.

“I was just as drunk as you were.” Angelo admitted. “I didn’t think about it until after I started sobering up.”

“I don’t even know your name.” I whined.

“You don’t know my name?” Eric sounded hurt.

I shook my head. “I think it starts with a vowel.” I smiled sheepishly at him.

“It’s Edward.” Edward (at least I was right about it starting with a vowel) held out his hand for me to shake it.

“I’m Bella,” I grabbed his hand.

“It’s nice to meet you Bella.” Edward shook my hand.

“It’s nice to meet you to Edward.” My sheepish smile turned into a grin. “Can we get a divorce now?””


Dum Dum Dum, what will happen now? Well, read and find out!

You wanna know another awesome (I use that word too much, I know) thing about this story. Like in every EdwardxBella-fic, there has to be a Jacob. In this case he’s Bella’s big uncivilized Labrador, who growls every time Edward comes near him. Lol. Now, go read!

And, just one thing before I go. Beauty and the Geek was updated last night! I know, Iiiiiip! I thought it would only be a one-shot, but I guess I was mistaken. Iiip!



  1. […] I just have to say, “Till Death Do Us Part” was updated last night. It gave me a heartattack. The end was seriously not funny. I don’t […]

  2. […] stories, “Till Death Do US Part“, “Boy Meets Girl” and all her lemon-y one-shots are forever amongst my […]

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