Posted by: Josephine | September 7, 2008

Edward and the Talk

It’s been said before, but the Cullen’s are one weird family. And I don’t just mean the fact that they’re vampires. Or because they’ve chosen to feed only on animal blood. I mean, with Alice foreseeing everything you’re planning on doing, Edward reading your mind, and Jasper sensing your every feeling, you don’t have any privacy what so ever. How can you live like that?

And it’s one thing to know what your brothers and sisters are up to, but your parents…Ew. Embarrassing situations are bound to come up! Especially since everyone is madly in love with someone.

So, when I read Breaking Dawn, and Edward told Bella that he’d talked to Carlisle about their ”agreement”, I was like, nooooo embarrassing! The sex talk with a hundred year old virgin! Here’s a story that tells you how it went. And it brings up the classical Cullen assumption. That Edward’s really gay, and that’s why he’s able to resist not sleeping with Bella. Right.

Mention of Mature themes, so do not proceed unless you’re of legal age.

Sit down,” I commanded. He sat on the leather seat opposite my desk. He tethered nervously on the edge, but I knew well enough he would not fall.
“Edward,” I began, and then paused, organizing my thought without actually thinking them. Which, is extremely challenging. Even for me and I’ve had the longest to work on it. Alice is better. But I am getting off track.
“Edward,” I began, AGAIN. “I see how much love you hold for Bella. I would say it was unnaturally for someone your age, but, you aren’t exactly the typical seventeen year old. You’ve had a while to work on it.” I was rambling, and getting of track again. Stupid sex talk. Stupid Edward. Why couldn’t he just talk to Jasper or Emmett… SHOOT! He can read my mind!

“Anyway, I believe that you have so much love for Bella, there is no way you could ever hurt her. No matter how…er…distracted you happen to get.”

“Thats what Bella says,” he replied, “but I don’t see the logic in that.”

I sighed. It was hopeless. Might as well tell him what he wants to hear.

“Let me finish, Edward. That being said, your…uh…sexual intentions may instead put Bella in danger. It is quite possible that she will not come out of this alive.”

He groaned. “I know, but Carlisle…I honestly don’t know how much longer I am going to be able to resist her. She’s just so…seductive.”

I sat down and folded my hands. “Well, Edward, it’s extremely normal for teenage boys to feel well…” I shuttered at the idea of teenage hormones. “…well, especially strong about their…er…sexual desires.”




To quote Bella, Ugh. (Is it just me, or does she say that way too often?) Anyhow, read, and get wonderful embarrassing flashbacks of your own. 😛 And I wanted to add this simply for the reason that Edward thinks Bellas is seductive. Iiiiii! I’m gonna go bite my pillow now.


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